A good divorce?

Sadly, I’m not sure there is something as a good divorce. But people can make it as good as it can be. That involves all the parties trying to work well together, including the legal advisors. By making sure that the legal side of things runs as smoothly as possible takes a lot of the stress out of the whole process. And ensuring that the clients are emotionally supported is important.

There are a range of different reasons people get divorced; people simply falling out of love; non-compatibility from the start is another common reason; and people growing apart for a number of reasons. And then sadly there are reasons such as  somebody having had an affair (Infidelity), substance abuse and addiction, or there has been emotional or physical abuse.

Sadly I would say it’s money and the division of assets. Trying to resolve the finances can bring out huge emotions and panic amongst couples trying to establish  whether they are financially able to move forward. This includes elements such as calculating child and/or spousal support. Determining who will have care of the children, or if both parents the division of that care, can also be highly contentious. These elements can have negative knock-on effects and create issues surrounding the children  as couples tend to lose sight of what their priority is.

This requires work from both parents. Putting their own personal views aside and promoting the other as a parent in their own right, not talking negatively about each other, and encouraging the child/children to spend regular and quality time with the other parent, unless of course there are valid reasons why contact should not take place. It’s important to ensure the child/children are listened to and cared for throughout the process. Having open and honest communications using age-appropriate language where they are encouraged to ask questions. The child/children should be proactively reassured that the divorce is not their fault, and that both parents will continue to love and support them. Establishing a cooperative co-parenting framework with consistent routines and rules across households will provide stability and a sense of security for the children.

At Foot Anstey we have a huge variety of clients, both men and women from heterosexual to same sex couples. People are of varying ages. There is a trend at the moment of a lot of couples in their thirties to fifties divorcing, but there are also older couples who are termed as silver and grey divorces.

No-fault divorce was introduced in April 2022 and allows couples to obtain a divorce on a no fault basis. The reasons for the separation are redundant. No fault divorce takes 6 months from application to final order.

In our experience, the shortest time frame for an uncontested divorce (i.e. the finances being settled without the need to go to court) is around 6 months. A contested divorce, which would mean going to court in relation to the finances, can generally take  between 1 and 2 years to complete.

It’s rare a couple are able to remain friends after a divorce. Many can continue to co-parent if there are children involved. It’s a highly emotional process, especially if court proceedings are needed, which can be quite bruising. At Foot Anstey we focus on taking the stress out of the legal side and try to find a way of resolving matters outside of the court process so things can be left as amicable as possible.

A third party can also be helpful during a divorce, whether that’s a family member or a neutral friend. It can provide balance and help support the clients emotionally so the legal team can focus on the legal aspects of the work.