Breaking Up Is Hard To Do - But There Are Ways To Make It More Tolerable

The first Monday in January is sometimes known as D-Day; the busiest day of the year for divorce lawyers. It seems that spending too much holiday time with your nearest and dearest, especially when aggravated by alcohol and other festive indulgences can lead to separation rather than closeness.

No matter what you hear, divorce or separation are always stressful for those involved and if you have a stake in a family business, you will no doubt appreciate how hard it is to keep personal emotions from spilling over and harming the business.

At Foot Anstey we try hard to minimise the distress of family breakdown. We subscribe to a code of conduct which is designed to establish the principles of a constructive approach to family law issues.

Many cases, whether about children or financial issues, can be settled without the need for going to Court. We work hard to avoid court proceedings, unless they are the most practical way forward.

Mediation has become a popular method of trying to resolve disputes about children or financial matters and some of our lawyers are trained mediators. There are no guarantees that an agreement will be reached but we find that mediation is in many instances helpful in narrowing down the main issues.

Collaborative law is one of the newer methods of alternative dispute resolution which is available through our specially trained solicitors. The goal is to assist you and your spouse/partner to resolve matters arising out of the breakdown of your relationship in a dignified way for the benefit of the whole family.

Collaborative law is different from mediation in that your collaborative lawyer acts for you, providing legal advice and guidance throughout the process, but working with you, your partner and his/her lawyer as part of a team to help achieve settlement. It is a fundamental principle of collaborative law that neither of the lawyers can act for you or your partner should you later decide to go to Court. If you decide to head for the Courts, both you and your partner will have to instruct new lawyers.

During a collaborative law process, issues are discussed and (hopefully) resolved in four way face to face meetings (between you, your partner and your respective lawyers). Settlement discussions take place in your presence which helps ensure that you and your partner remain in charge of the process. The process improves future communication, something which is particularly important when you have children.

Provided all the participants enter the process in good faith, the process can be faster, cheaper and certainly less acrimonious than Court proceedings in reaching a resolution. It works very well in complex cases including those involving family businesses as you can fine tune the agreement to maximise the family and business interests.

If collaborative practice, mediation or lawyer lead settlement attempts fail, then the Court will have to decide the matter but even then the Court will expect everyone to be constructive in their approach and to try to reach agreement rather than spend time, money and increased stress on disagreement. Comparatively few cases actually reach a contested hearing, and it is better to avoid being in that minority.

For further information or advice, please contact Maggie Roberts, partner on 01823 625692 or email maggie.roberts@footanstey.com

Published 31/12/2008. The author of this article is Maggie Roberts